ADHD and Christmas (Part 1) & The Money Minefield – What You Need to Know

Situation: The Festive Spending Spiral

It’s the third week of December. Parcels keep arriving, you’ve lost track of what you’ve bought (or for whom), and your bank balance is politely suggesting that perhaps the spending spree should end. You haven’t even sorted the Christmas dinner yet. Sound familiar?
For many adults with ADHD and their partners, the run‑up to Christmas can feel like a perfect storm of last‑minute panic, overspending, forgotten tasks and emotional overwhelm. Yet it’s not because you’re bad at adulting. It’s because your brain processes time, tasks and money a little differently.

Problem: The ADHD Brain at Christmas

The festive season asks an awful lot of our executive functions: planning ahead, estimating time, budgeting, remembering lists, resisting impulse purchases. For someone with ADHD, many of those skills are exactly where the brain struggles.
Here are some of the specific challenges:

• Time‑blindness – Christmas always seems further away than it really is, so tasks are postponed until the pressure is high.
• Initiation issues – Starting the list, the shopping, the wrapping: without urgency or structure, it’s hard to get going.
• Impulsivity – That “I’ll just grab this one” purchase gives a dopamine hit in the moment, but adds up fast. Research shows adults with ADHD are more likely to impulse‑spend. (The Guardian)
• Working‑memory & organisation struggles – What have I bought already? Who still needs a gift? Where did I put the receipt? Studies show adults diagnosed in childhood with ADHD have more difficulty managing money, paying bills late, making impulsive purchases. (PubMed)

It’s not about being disorganised or irresponsible. It’s simply about cognitive load being turned up to eleven.

Implications: Financial Stress and Relationship Friction

When the money side of Christmas isn’t working, the consequences can ripple out:

• Overspending and financial strain when the credit card bill arrives. According to one survey, UK adults with ADHD reported that managing their money was more difficult, to the tune of an extra ~£1,600/year on average. (Monzo)
• Guilt and self‑criticism: “Why can’t I just keep it together?” Especially when everyone else seems to manage.
• Relationship tension: one partner (often without ADHD) may feel that they’re doing more of the organising, budgeting, admin, and may become irritated or stepped into a “parent‑child” dynamic.
• Emotional pressure: the perfect Christmas image vs. reality, and the ADHD brain being asked to achieve that while also managing its usual load.

These factors often turn what should feel like a warm, calm season into one of stress and avoidance.

Solution: How ADHDers and Their Partners Can Prepare Financially for Christmas

The good news? There’s absolutely room for preparation and calm. You don’t need to become a perfect planner overnight, you just need to adopt strategies that work with how your brain works.
Here are five practical, empowering steps:

1. Have the money conversation early

Sit down (together) and decide what your spending limit is for gifts, food, decorations, extras. Write it somewhere both of you can see it, visualising helps the ADHD brain.

But here’s the key: not everyone relates to money in the same way. Some people love spreadsheets. Others find them confusing or intimidating. Some need visuals like charts or colour-coded envelopes. Some just need to talk it out over a cup of tea. And that’s okay. There’s no “correct” format, only what works for you.

This is where ADHD coaching can help. I work with clients to craft money systems that match their thinking style, whether that’s visual, verbal, app-based, or good old sticky notes. The real power lies in making money make sense to your brain.

And when it comes to money conversations with your partner? It doesn’t have to turn into a confrontation. Start from curiosity. Recognise that you may have different financial values, habits or even baggage from childhood. Especially if one of you manages most of the finances and the other doesn’t, it’s easy for assumptions to sneak in. That’s why open, honest chats, without blame, are so important.

2. Use ADHD‑friendly money tools

Budgeting apps, prepaid cards, cash envelopes, banking notifications: these externalise the memory and tracking your ADHD brain struggles to keep. Research shows people with ADHD find digital banking features that give visibility very helpful. (Monzo)

3. Focus on what matters most

What three things will make this Christmas feel like Christmas for you both? Maybe the good dinner, one gift exchange, a film together. Everything else is extra. Deciding ahead what counts reduces the burden of trying to do everything.

4. Create a gift master list & timeline

Visual lists help combat working‑memory issues. Include: recipient, gift bought?, wrapped?, budget spent?. And pair it with a simple timeline: by X date wrap half the gifts; by Y date send the cards; etc. Breaking things into small chunks makes initiation easier.

5. Avoid the parent‑child trap, collaborate instead

If one partner (often the non‑ADHD partner) ends up doing all the admin, resentment can creep in. Make festive tasks shared in a way that uses each other’s strengths. Use tools together, high‑five each other’s wins, keep humour up. Coaching can help couples build those kinds of team‑habits.

A Final Thought: You’re a Team, Not Opponents

Christmas absolutely can be joyful even when it’s not perfect. Understanding how ADHD affects festive planning, especially the financial side, means you can build in grace, collaboration and realistic strategies.

If you’ve struggled before, this doesn’t have to mean you’ll struggle again. With a little planning, the right supports and a strengths‑based approach, you can move into this season with more calm, more control and more connection.

If this resonates and you or your partner would like support navigating ADHD and money (and life) beyond just Christmas, coaching can absolutely help. Click here to book a discovery call, explore what’s possible.

See here for ADHD Imposter Syndrome: 7 Ways to Turn Self-Doubt into Strength.