Hyperfocus or Burnout? 5 Gentle Reasons to Back Yourself and Let ‘Good Enough’ Be Enough
Many people with ADHD spend years trying to meet expectations that don’t quite fit them. Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or within their own high standards, the effort to get things “just right” can sometimes become exhausting.
Actor Ricky Gervais once said, “Trying to please everyone is a recipe for misery.” He spoke about how, early in his career, he said yes to too much and lost track of what really mattered to him. This feeling is familiar to many adults with ADHD, especially those who have worked hard to prove their worth by doing more, trying harder, or aiming for perfection.
But here is something you may need to hear today.
You are already enough.
You don’t need to be perfect to be valued or to make a difference.
And it is never too late to try something different.
Why ‘Trying Harder’ Often Feels Like the Only Option
If you’ve experienced ADHD, you might recognise this pattern. You care deeply, you want to do well, and you might feel more sensitive to how others perceive you. Perhaps you’ve received feedback in the past that left a mark. So now, you try to avoid mistakes by doing things perfectly, sometimes at great personal cost.
This drive can lead to hyperfocus. You become deeply locked into a task, determined to get every detail right. While this can be a strength in the right context, it can also be draining, especially when the task isn’t truly meaningful to you.
A Story from My Career as a Chartered Financial Planner
Working as a Chartered Financial Planner, I would often spend hours preparing detailed reports before client meetings. I wanted them to be thorough, clear, and well-formatted. But in reality, most clients just wanted a straightforward answer to three questions:
- How much am I worth compared to last year?
- What do we need to change if anything?
- Will I be okay?
The real value came from the conversation we had in the room, not the report.
I used to feel tired before the meetings even started. I had given so much energy to making the report just right that I didn’t always have much left for the part that really mattered: listening, connecting, and being present.
I’ve come to see that when we try to be perfect for others, it can unintentionally reduce our capacity to give them what they truly need. Our calm presence, our attention, and our care.
What Backing Yourself Really Means
Backing yourself is not about ignoring your responsibilities or walking away from challenges. It’s about giving yourself permission to approach things differently. It means recognising that your energy, focus, and wellbeing matter too.
One of the most helpful ways I’ve learned to do this is through photography. I often take solo trips, where I photograph sunrises and sunsets. During these moments, I feel calm, focused, and connected. I’m not trying to impress anyone. I’m simply noticing what’s around me and how I feel.
Each photo becomes a reminder, not just of a beautiful view, but of how I felt when I gave myself time to pause, reflect, and reconnect. At the start of those trips, I sometimes felt a bit guilty for stepping away from work or routine. But every time, I came back more energised, more focused, and with more clarity.
Why Perfection Isn’t Always Helpful
Perfectionism often promises peace of mind, but it rarely delivers. When we chase perfect outcomes, we often trade away our presence, our sleep, or our ability to engage in the moment. I’ve noticed this in myself too. At times I’ve worked late into the evening writing a blog post or replying to a client message, only to realise I’ve missed dinner and feel completely drained.
That extra hour or two spent “perfecting” something could have been time spent resting, connecting with loved ones, or simply taking a breather. The work might have been slightly more polished, but the cost was higher than it needed to be.
Good enough is not about cutting corners. It’s about caring for your future self, and the people you care about, by knowing when to stop.
5 Gentle Reasons to Embrace “Good Enough”
- It keeps you grounded in what matters
Trying to be perfect often distracts us from what’s actually important. “Good enough” brings us back to purpose.
- It helps preserve your energy
When you give yourself permission to stop when something is finished, not flawless, you save energy for the things and people who matter most.
- It strengthens your sense of self
When you decide what’s good enough, you take back ownership of your choices. You no longer wait for external validation to feel like you’ve done well.
- It gives you space to grow
Progress often comes from taking imperfect action. When you release the pressure to get everything right, you create space to learn, adapt, and keep going.
- It builds trust in yourself
When you show yourself that you can complete things without burning out, you build confidence and trust in your own approach. That’s far more sustainable than trying to meet someone else’s impossible standard.
What Does Backing Yourself Look Like?
In practical terms, backing yourself means defining your own version of “good enough.” That might be:
- Writing an email and sending it, rather than rewriting it five times
- Stopping work at a set time so you can rest or connect with someone you care about
- Giving yourself permission to take a walk before you solve another problem
- Saying no to something that would overload your week
- Letting yourself pause and check in before making a decision
For me, it also means looking at one of my sunrise photos and remembering how it felt to be grounded, calm, and connected. That image reminds me to come back to myself.
It’s Never Too Late to Choose a Different Way
If you’ve been caught in the cycle of perfectionism or burnout, you’re not alone. These habits often come from a place of care, responsibility, and wanting to do your best. But that doesn’t mean they always serve you.
It is never too late to shift direction. You don’t have to get it right straight away. You can start small. You can start today.
Backing yourself is not about doing less. It’s about doing what matters, with the energy and clarity that allows you to enjoy it. You deserve that. And the people around you do too.
Ready to Begin?
If this resonates with you and you’re looking for a fresh way to approach your goals, I’d love to help.
I work with adults who are learning to live with ADHD on their own terms. Together, we explore what it means to trust yourself, find your focus, and take back control of your time and energy, one step at a time.
Book a free 30-minute discovery call
Let’s talk about how coaching could support you.
👉 Book a free ADHD Coaching Discovery Session today 📅and take the first step towards letting ‘Good Enough’ Be Enough
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